One Line Captions For Instagram!

• • Enjoy at least one sunset per day! – Modern Family
  • They say don’t try this at home…so I went to my friends home!
  • My bed is a magical place I suddenly remember everything I had to do.
  • Friday, my second favorite F word.
  • Wine + dinner = winner
  • I don’t know what’s tighter, our jeans or our friendship.
  • Be happy, it drives people crazy.
  • No one will ever be as entertained by us as us.

• • Chocolate doesn’t ask silly questions, chocolate understands – just like best friends!
  • Another fine day ruined by responsibilities…
  • I put the “Pro” in procrastinate.
  • Create your own sunshine.
  • Life is simple. It’s just not easy.
  • Start somewhere.
  • If you were looking for a sign, here it is.
  • Better an Oooops, than a what if.

• • Life is too short for bad vibes.

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  • The world is changed by your example, not your opinion.
  • We travel, some of us forever, to seek other places, other lives, other souls.
  • Remember that happiness is a way of travel – not a destination.
  • Today is one of those days that even my coffee needs a coffee.
  • You never know what you have until you have cleaned your house.
  • Fear is stupid. So are regrets.
  • I don’t care what people think of me. Mosquitos find me attractive!

Short Insta Caption

• • Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale’s mating call.
  • If there would be an award for being lazy, I would send someone to pick it up for me.
  • They say: Do what you love and the money will come to you. Just ordered pizza, now I am waiting…
  • For me, math class is like watching a foreign movie without subtitles.
  • Maybe if we tell people the brain is an app, they will start using it.
  • When nothing goes right, go left.
  • A cop pulled me over and told me “Papers”, so I said “Scissors, I win!” and drove off.
  • Mom: Why is everything on the floor? Me: Gravity!

• • Sure, I do marathons. On Netflix.
  • Did it for the memories – totally worth it!
  • I followed a diet but it didn’t follow me back, so I unfollowed it.
  • When Jessica Biel becomes pregnant, I hope she names her child “Mo”.
  • Dear sleep: thanks for trying, but you can’t beat surfing the net.
  • I don’t think inside the box and I don’t think outside the box… I don’t even know where the box is.

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• Do I run? Yes… Out of time, patients and money.
• There’s no “we” in fries
• Lies I tell myself: Just one more cookie. Just one more movie. Just one more minute. Yet…I wouldn’t call them lies!
• I like hashtags, because they look like waffles.
• ETC. End of Thinking Capacity.
• Be a cupcake in a world of muffins
• I know the voices in my head aren’t real….. but sometimes their ideas are just absolutely awesome!
• Today is a good day for cake.
• Going to bed early. Not going to a party. Not leaving my house. My childhood punishments has become my adult goals.

Funny Short One Line Instagram Captions

• I need a six month holiday, twice a year
• If a dentist makes their money from unhealthy teeth, why would I trust a product 4/5 of them recommend?
• How did I get back to my crib last night
• we made it, it’s Friday!
• I read the twilight books
• When I feel a little down, I put on my favorite high heels and dance
• Friday, my second favorite F word
• Women drivers rev my engine
• I like cooties
• Hey, I just met you, this is crazy
• At least this balloon is attracted to me!
• I must destroy you with hugs and kisses
• Stop looking for happiness in the same place you just lost it
• I woke up like this
• Oh you’re a model? What’s your agency, Instagram?
• I will eat just one, I swear
• I liked memes before they were on Instagram
• if a redhead works at a bakery, does that make him a gingerbread man?
• If we could only turn back time…
• Keep smiling because life is a beautiful thing and there’s so much to smile about
• 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
• What if I told you, you can eat without posting it on Instagram
• Thank you for making me feel less alone
• The only F word out a woman’s mouth that scares me is “fine.”
• Crossfit? I play real sports
• A blind man walks into a bar… And a chair… and a table.
• At dawn, we ride
• you are enough
• This seat is taken
• I wasn’t lucky, I deserved it
• I had fun once, it was horrible
• survived another “end of the world” scenario
• Girls be like…
• stop stop, I’m gunna pee
• Hey good lookin, can you tell me how to get to Sesame Street?
• Puts selfie on top of tree because I’m the star.
• Is I in trouble?
• I don’t have Ex’s, I have Y’s. Like “Why Did I ever date you?”
• It never rains during the weekend