Funny Thanksgiving Quotes

We must be thankful to your friends or family members whatever they have done for you. So here we have come up with the inspiring, funny thanksgiving quotes that can serve as a wonderful reminder to reflect on the true meaning of Thanksgiving. So, include these Funny Thanksgiving Quotes in your words so they can laugh and will never be disappointed for helping you…

Funny Thanksgiving Quotes

  • “For those of you who cannot be with family this Thanksgiving, please resist the urge to brag.”
  • “Thanksgiving is a time to count your blessings, one by one, as each relative goes home.”

Funny Thanksgiving Quotes

  • “May your stuffing be tasty May your turkey is plump, May your potatoes and gravy Have nary a lump. May your yams are delicious And your pies take the prize, And may your Thanksgiving dinner Stay off your thighs!”
  • “If you stand in the meat section at the grocery store long enough, you start to get mad at turkeys. There’s turkey ham, turkey bologna, turkey pastrami. Someone needs to tell the turkey, ‘Man, just be yourself.'”
  • “Hope my relatives are getting along with the professional line sitter I hired to hold my place at the front of the Thanksgiving food line.”
  • “The Thankstini: A fun and delicious new novelty drink I invented. Cranberry juice, potato vodka, and a bouillon cube. Tastes just like a turkey dinner.”
  • “We may not have it all together, but together, we have it all.”
  • “It wouldn’t be Thanksgiving without a little emotional scarring.”
  • “Good mashed potato is one of the great luxuries of life
  • “It wouldn’t be Thanksgiving without a little emotional scarring.”
  • “It’s not too much food. This is what we’ve been training for our whole lives. This is our destiny, this is our finest hour.”
  • “If you think about a Thanksgiving dinner, it’s really like making a large chicken.”
  • “Overeating at Thanksgiving is a case in point. It’s a national tradition.”
  • “Turkey: A large bird whose flesh, when eaten on certain religious anniversaries, has the peculiar property of attesting piety and gratitude.”
  • “Coexistence: What the farmer does with the turkey—until Thanksgiving.”
  • “Real ballplayers pass the stuffing by rolling it up in a ball and batting it across the table with a turkey leg.”
  • “A lot of Thanksgiving days have been ruined by not carving the turkey in the kitchen.”
  • “I suppose I will die never knowing what pumpkin pie tastes like when you have room for it.”
  • “An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day.”
  • “I’m looking forward to seeing pie this Thanksgiving more than members of my own family.”
  • “Thanksgiving is America’s national chow-down feast, the one occasion each year when gluttony becomes a patriotic duty.”
  • “I can’t cook a Thanksgiving dinner. All I can make is cold cereal and maybe toast.”
  • “I like football. I find it’s an exciting strategic game. It’s a great way to avoid conversation with your family at Thanksgiving.”

Great Thanksgiving Quotes

Funny Thanksgiving Quotes

  • “Thanksgiving dinners take 18 hours to prepare. They are consumed in 12 minutes. Half-times take 12 minutes. This is not a coincidence.”
  • “Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie.”
  • “Cooking tip: Wrap turkey leftovers in aluminum foil and throw them out.”
  • “Thanksgiving Day, man—not a good day to be my pants.”
  • “I’m looking forward to seeing pie this Thanksgiving more than members of my own family.”
  • “What we’re really talking about is a wonderful day when no one diets. I mean, why else would they call it Thanksgiving?”
  • “Pie makes everybody happy.”
  • “Thanksgiving: Bringing out the best in family dysfunction since 1863.”
  • “Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.”
  • “You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out.”
  • “Thanksgiving—when the people who are the most thankful are the ones who didn’t have to cook.”
  • “After a good dinner, one can forgive anybody, even one’s own relations.”
  • “I’m from Canada, so Thanksgiving to me is just Thursday with more food.”
  • “It’s not too much food. This is what we’ve been training for our whole lives. This is our destiny, this is our finest hour.”
  • “I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.”
  • “Thanksgiving is a lot like Christmas, except you don’t get any presents for holding in your familial rage.”
  • “People who love to eat are always the best people.”

 

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