My sudden protracted cardiac arrhythmia makes me think I’m falling for you.
(Hold out a stethoscope) Why don’t you listen to your heart and go out with me?
My adductor isn’t the only thing that’s longus.
Is your name Flecainide? Because I think you just made my heart skip a beat.
Are you a pulmonary embolism? ‘Cause I can’t breathe when I’m around you.
(Look for any small skin imperfection) Has anyone ever looked at that? Why don’t we go back to my place so I can give you a full exam?
When you walked in the door your beauty hit me so hard that I have a priapism from all the trauma.
How about we ditch this joint and go study some anatomy? Baby, you make me vasodilate!
No that’s not an epi-pen in my pants, I’m just happy to see you.
Hey baby, wanna play with my corpus cavernosum?
Are you my Appendix? Because I have a funny feeling in my stomach that makes me feel like I should take you out.
That pulsation in my femoral sheath isn’t coming from an artery.
I am an organ donor, need anything?
Come into my office and take off your pants.
I wish I was your coronary artery, so that I could be wrapped around your heart.
Is your name Osteoporosis? Because you’re giving me a serious bone condition.
Trust me, this is how they did Mammograms back in the old days.
Inspiring Chat Up Lines for Doctors
“Wherever the art of Medicine is loved, there is also a love of Humanity. ”
“I remind my fellows, residents and medical students that what we do is a privilege. People let us into the most intimate aspects of their lives, and they look to us to help guide them through very complex and delicate situations.”
“In our job, you will never go home at the end of the day thinking that you haven’t done something valuable and important.”
“As a caregiver, you see selfless acts everyday.”
“[Being a doctor] offers the most complete and constant union of those three qualities which have the greatest charm for pure and active minds – novelty, utility, and charity.”
“[As a doctor] people will trust you, confide in you, and appreciate your efforts. You can do amazing things for people if you don’t let the system get you down.”
“In nothing do men more nearly approach the gods than in giving health to men.”
“While the journey seems long and hard at the beginning with perseverance and dedication the rewards at the end last a lifetime.”
“To solve a difficult problem in medicine, don’t study it directly, but rather pursue a curiosity about nature and the rest will follow. Do basic research.”
“The awe of discovering the human body. The honor of being trusted to give advice. The gratitude for helping someone through a difficult illness. These things never grow old.
“I always tell my residents to never forget that we have the opportunity to do more good in one day than most people have in a month.”
“I would still ‘do it again’ despite all the difficulty of training and roadblocks to just practice medicine. Truly is worth it!”
“Observation, Reason, Human Understanding, Courage; these make the physician.”
“Wear the white coat with dignity and pride—it is an honor and privilege to get to serve the public as a physician.”
“Always remember the privilege it is to be a physician.”
“We practice medicine that our historical ancestors could only dream of, and we have access to amazing treatments and cures for our patients on a daily basis.”
“Medicine really matured me as a person because, as a physician, you’re obviously dealing with life and death issues… if you can handle that, you can handle anything.”