Looking for the Crime Puns? Then you come to the right place. Here is the small and concise list of the crime puns about criminals, jail, prison, and the law.

Puns About Crime

• The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
• A criminal’s best asset is his lie ability.
• The two guys caught drinking battery acid will soon be charged.
• A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
• Novice pirates make terrible singers because they can’t hit the high seas.
• A nut named Hazel held up a bank saying, “Give me all the cashew have.”
• Prison walls are never built to scale.
• When the gunman walked in, he turned the store into a flee market.
• Two robbers with clubs went golfing, but they didn’t play the fairway.
• When the man was shot with a BB gun the case ended up in a pellet court.
• They tried to keep a locksmith in prison, but the nut bolted.
• Some burglars are always looking for windows of opportunity.
• Old burglars never die; they just steal away.
• While stealing from a blood bank, the thief was caught red-handed.
• Two crooks bought a hotel. They were inmates.
• Looting a drugstore is called pillaging.

• A lingerie thief gave a police officer the slip.
• Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.
• In jail convicts use cell phones.
• Cartoonist found deal in home. Details are sketchy.
• Stealing someone’s coffee is called mugging
• A criminals best asset is his lie ability.
• Being friends with assassins is a bad idea. They’re all backstabbers.
• The case against a donut thief was full of holes.
• A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He because a hardened criminal.
• Weight loss pills stolen this morning – police say suspects are still at large.
• I got a small ticket for speeding. It’s fine with me.
• Why did the picture go to jail? Because it was framed.
• I shot a man with a paintball gun just to watch him dye.
• My drug dealer cracks me up.
• If a judge loves the sound of his own voice, expect a long sentence.