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Agent Phil Coulson Captions

“It’s a vintage set. It took me a couple of years to collect them all. Near mint. Slight foxing around the edges, but…”

“I’ll brief you on everything when you get back. But first, we need you to talk to the big guy.”

“Coulson, you know that Stark trusts me about as far as he can throw me.”

“Oh, I’ve got Stark. You get the big guy.”

“Mr. Stark, we need to talk.”

“You have reached the life model decoy of Tony Stark, please leave a message.”

“This is urgent.”

“Then leave it urgently.”

“I gotta say, it’s an honor to meet you, officially. I sort of met you, I mean, I watched you while you were sleeping. I mean, I was… I was present while you were unconscious from the ice. You know, it’s really, it’s just a… just a huge honor to have you on board.”

“Well, I hope I’m the man for the job.”

“Uh… we’ve made some modifications to the uniform. I had a little design input.”

“The uniform? Aren’t the stars and stripes a little… old fashioned?”

“With everything that’s happening, the things that are about to come to light, people might just need a little old fashioned.”

“It’s a magical place.”

“People tend to confuse the words ‘new’ and ‘improved’.”

“Nobody’s nobody, Ward.”

“We didn’t cut off the head of the Centipede. Whoever sponsored that little experiment is still out there.”

“A concerned citizen who happens to be a member of a giant bureaucratic organization that’s tracking your every move.”

“Why are you here? You’ve been keeping something from us this whole time. And it wasn’t just a boyfriend. You have a secret, Skye, and one chance to come out with it. That’s now, or I’m done with you.”

“You bend someone long enough and they break! Poor little Chan Ho Yin may have believed your lies, but not Scorch!”

Phil Coulson Instagram Quotes

“I DON’T SWEAT. I GLISTEN.”

“WE ARE NOT AGENTS OF NOTHING! WE ARE AGENTS OF SHIELD, AND THAT STILL CARRIES WEIGHT. IT HAS TO CARRY WEIGHT!”

“IF I COME OUT, WILL YOU SHOOT ME? BECAUSE THEN I WON’T COME OUT.”

“I’VE BEEN KEEPING MY FEELINGS IN CHECK – AND LOOK WHAT IT GOT US.”

“I’VE MET GODS. GODS BLEED.”

“COOL ORIGIN STORY BRO, BUT THIS ONE MEANS NOTHING TO ME.”

“I’M CHOOSING TO STAND UP, TO BECOME A PART OF SOMETHING BIGGER. I REALLY DO BELIEVE THAT TOGETHER, WE CAN ACCOMPLISH ANYTHING.”

“I KNOW YOU’VE ONLY BEEN HUMAN A LITTLE WHILE, BUT THERE’S A BASIC HUMAN CONCEPT YOU NEED TO LEARN. IT’S CALLED TEAMWORK.”

“WE ARE GATHERED HERE TODAY FOR A MOMENT WE ALL KNEW WAS COMING, SOME OF US EVEN BEFORE THESE TWO DID, AND I THINK WE CAN ALL AGREE THAT TO WAIT EVEN ONE SECOND TO DO THIS IS PLAYING WITH FIRE.”

“I’VE LIVED A LIFE SURROUNDED BY HEROES, NONE BIGGER THAN ALL OF YOU… WE SIGN UP TO LOSE EACH OTHER, TO GET CLOSE TO GOOD PEOPLE AND HAVE THEM TAKEN AWAY.”

Agent Phil Coulson Movie Quotes

Talbot: I was trying to hold out, Phil. Where were you?
Coulson: We were in the future.
Talbot [laughs incredulously]: You were in the future? What, you guys live is some fifth-dimension *freak show*?
Coulson: I’d say that’s a relatively accurate description of our day-to-day life.

General Hale. I know you’re bummed the whole ‘team-up’ thing isn’t gonna happen. But it still seems kinda petty taking away my cot. My chair. And my Captain Crunch. That last one really hurt. And you’re gonna destroy the Earth, so…

Coulson: Glenn, I know we’re under a bit of strain here, but I’m gonna need you to use your *inside* voice.
Talbot [still speaking loudly]: This *is* my inside voice!
Coulson: Okay, then your *softer* inside voice.

Coulson: Bad idea.
Hale: You don’t even know what it does.
Coulson: I don’t need to. It’s got that weird alien writing on the side.

The idea is to put your ninja daughter into that chamber?! This is gonna be a long conversation. Cap was selected for his *heart*, not cutting off hands.

Coulson: Hey, Mack Hammer… Can’t touch this.
Mack: Now’s not the time.
Coulson: Sorry. Couldn’t resist.

Fitz: I was just coming to see you.
Coulson: Tidings of comfort and joy?
Fitz: Warnings of doom and gloom.

Simmons: Sir, how are you feeling?
Coulson: The same way I was feeling before you knew anything was wrong with me. Thank you for asking, but please, stop asking.

Coulson: So, the good news is that Daisy might not be the one responsible for tearing the Earth apart.
Fitz: Bad news is the end of the world might’ve already begun.

Coulson: I’ll stay here with Daisy. When she wakes up, she’ll have questions.
May: When she wakes up, she’s gonna wanna kill you.

Daisy: You okay?
Coulson: Just a wardrobe malfunction. You?
Daisy: Yeah. Turns out they have PCP in space.