90+ Funny Puns – Best Bad Funny Puns

by Tokyo Chan

Puns are undeniably cheesy at times, but sharing funny puns almost always leads to a good laugh—and in this day and time, we could all use more of that right now. These best funny puns are everything: bad funny puns, hilarious funny puns, funny puns for friends to get a good laugh!

Best Bad Funny Puns

Best Bad Funny Puns
Best Bad Funny Puns
  • Why did Adele cross the road? To say hello from the other side.
  • What kind of concert only costs 45 cents? A 50 Cent concert featuring Nickelback.
  • What did the grape say when it got crushed? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
  • I want to be cremated as it is my last hope for a smoking hot body.
  • Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
  • To the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing.
  • I had a crazy dream last night! I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. Turns out it was just a Fanta sea.
  • A crazy wife says to her husband that moose are falling from the sky. The husband says, it’s reindeer.
  • Ladies, if he can’t appreciate your fruit jokes, you need to let that mango.
  • Geology rocks but Geography is where it’s at!
  • What was Forrest Gump’s email password? 1forrest1
  • Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? I heard the food was good but it had no atmosphere.
  • Can February March? No, but April May.
  • Need an ark to save two of every animal? I noah guy.
  • I don’t trust stairs because they’re always up to something.
  • Smaller babies may be delivered by stork but the heavier ones need a crane.
  • My grandpa has the heart of the lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
  • Why was Dumbo sad? He felt irrelephant.
  • A man sued an airline company after it lost his luggage. Sadly, he lost his case.
  • I lost my mood ring and I don’t know how to feel about it!
  • Yesterday, I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m okay, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.
  • So what if I don’t know what apocalypse means? It’s not the end of the world!
  • My friend drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how his Mercedes bends.
  • Becoming a vegetarian is one big missed steak.
  • I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
  • Some aquatic mammals at the zoo escaped. It was otter chaos!
  • Never trust an atom, they make up everything!
  • Waking up this morning was an eye-opening experience.
  • Long fairy tales have a tendency to dragon.

Hilarious Funny Puns

Funny Puns For Friends
Funny Puns For Friends
  • I’m no cheetah…you’re lion!
  • Three conspiracy theorists walk into a bar…You can’t tell me that’s just a coincidence!
  • Never date someone cross-eyed… You’ll always catch them seeing other people on the side!
  • What did the mayonnaise say when somebody opened the refrigerator? “Hey, close the door! I’m dressing!”
  • Time flies like an arrow… Fruit flies like a banana!
  • How do you make a good egg-roll? You push it down a hill!
  • Apple is designing a new automatic car. But they’re having trouble installing Windows!
  • That baseball player was such a bad sport. He stole third base and then just went home!
  • I’ve started sleeping in our fireplace. Now I sleep like a log!
  • I have a few jokes about unemployed people… But none of them work!
  • Every soccer player’s favorite beverage? Penal-tea!
  • Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It’s okay. He woke up!
  • What do you call an overweight psychic? A four-chin teller!
  • I used to wonder why Frisbees looked bigger the closer they came… And then it hit me!
  • Two egotists started a fight. It was an I for an I!
  • I’m glad I know sign language. It can come in pretty handy!
  • Looks tasty. Gimme a pizza that.
  • Cactus puns are simply succulent.
  • I became a vegetarian. Huge missed-steak!
  • What should you call an average potato? A commen-tator!
  • I saw an ad for burial plots, and I thought… “That’s the last thing I need!”
  • I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off!
  • A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.
  • After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.
  • I used to be afraid of hurdles, but I got over it.
  • To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
  • I read a book on anti-gravity. I couldn’t put it down.
  • I couldn’t remember how to throw a boomerang but it came back to me.

Funny Puns For Friend

Funny Puns For Friend
Funny Puns For Friend
  • She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
  • A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.
  • No matter how hard you push the envelope, it’s still stationery.
  • A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
  • A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
  • Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
  • A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
  • Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
  • The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
  • The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
  • A backward poet writes inverse.
  • In a democracy, it’s your vote that counts. In feudalism, it’s your Count that votes.
  • The quickest way to get someone’s attention is to no longer want it.
  • An intellectual says a simple thing in a hard way. An artist says a hard thing in a simple way.
  • Nothing haunts us like the things we don’t say.
  • Funny Puns To Make Someone Laugh
  • How do you throw a space party? You planet.
  • How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.
  • Nope. Unintended.
  • The shovel was a ground breaking invention, but everyone was blow away by the leaf blower.
  • A scarecrow says, “This job isn’t for everyone, but hay, it’s in my jeans.”
  • A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says “Make me one with everything.”
  • Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He’s alright now.
  • What do you call a girl with one leg that’s shorter than the other? Ilene.
  • The broom swept the nation away.
  • I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.
  • What does a clock do when it’s hungry? It goes back for seconds.
  • What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.
  • I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.
  • Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.
  • Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says “Do you smell fish?”
  • Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in france? There was nothing but des brie.
  • Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.
  • What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.
  • Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.
  • What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
  • What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.
  • What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

About Tokyo Chan

Tokyo Chan is a creative writer who enjoys writing captions for Instagram and inspiration quotes. She received her bachelor of art degree in English from San Jose State University, California. Tokyo aspires to be a published author and motivational speaker. She loves spending time with her family and friends, traveling, and exploring new cultures.

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