A Good Laugh Is The Best Medicine For Your Soul!

  • “People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.”
  • “Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
  • “Mom: Why is everything on the floor? Me: Gravity!”
  • “Going to bed early. Not going to a party. Not leaving my house. My childhood punishments have become my adult goals.”
  • “Aspire to Inspire before you Expire.”
  • “My six pack is protected by a layer of fat.”‘
  • “Your Greatness is not what you have. It’s what you give.”
  • “I’m so happy to have you in my life. Please don’t ever leave.”
  • “The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.”
  • “Did you just fall? No, I was checking if gravity still works.”
  • “I didn’t choose the thug life, the thug life chose me.”
  • “Walking past a class with your friends on it.”
  • “I need a six month holiday, twice a year.”
  • “My prince is not coming on a white horse… he’s obviously riding a turtle somewhere, really confused.”
  • “Always remember that you’re unique. Just like everyone else.”
  • “I had an extremely busy day, converting oxygen into carbon dioxide.”
  • “I need a six month holiday, twice a year.”
  • “I am returning to face the truth that an ordinary day is not lager on the shoreline or calamari in the stomach.”
  • “On the off chance that I could hole up to my life in one line, I would pass on of humiliation.”
  • “Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”
  • “I don’t understand people who say “I don’t know how to thank you.” Like they never heard of money.”
  • “Less Mondays, more sunshine.”
  • “Spring: Warm today, cold tomorrow.”
  • “I wonder how many miles I’ve scrolled with my thumb.”
  • “Hey, you are reading my bio again!”
  • “Getting you a date to prom is so hard that the hypothetical idea itself is actually used to cut diamonds.”
  • “According to Sarah, who had gone two years ago, prom was famous for being an overpriced disappointment where most people had no fun.”
  • “Doing nothing is hard, you never know when you’re done.”
  • “Don’t break anybody’s heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206.
  • “My life has a superb cast but I can’t figure out the plot.”
  • “VODKA: Happy Water for Fun People.”
  • “Act Smart, Eat Hard, Sleep Fast.”
  • Make little things count. Teach Midgets Math.”
  • “I am not lazy, I am on energy saving mode”
  • “I hope we are besties forever. even after we die we can become ghosties and care people forever.”
  • “Me and my group friends are the funniest humans I know.”
  • “There are so many times I made you angry, upset, irritated and tired. Today I just wanted to say that I’m thinking of continuing.”
  • ” Aye, I’m just feeling my vibes right now, I’m feeling myself.”
  • “Alcohol will give different, type of superhuman power!”
  • “A friend in need a friend to be avoided.”
  • “I hate math, but I love counting money.”
  • “Dear MATH, stop asking to find your X, she’s not coming back.”
  • “Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I’m tired of solving them for you.”funny